Fun Friday – My Funny Teacher Stories
Since school just started, I figured I’d share a few of my funniest teacher stories from years past.
SUPER GLUE – I had a student one year who was particularly ornery, talkative in class, and did his best to make my life difficult (sounds like every freshman boy, I know). As often happens with these types of students, the following year he returned to visit me as if he were my favorite student, chatting with me and annoying me like before, except not quite as bad. After a few days of this he came in my room after school and saw me using a hot glue gun, to which he casually notified me he had super glue in his bag. Not thinking anything of it, I sent him on his way so I could lock my room to run a few errands around school. When I returned and attempted to stick my key in my door’s keyhole, I was astonished to find that my key wouldn’t go in. After several attempts, I finally leaned over to peer into the keyhole and discovered…you guessed it – super glue. He had super-glued my keyhole! The custodians had to call someone ing to unhook the door off its hinges for me to get back in my room, grab my purse, and finally go home. Once in the office and realizing how serious it was, he tried to deny it at first. But after I assured him I knew he was trying to be funny and just epically failed, he fessed up.
RANSOM NOTE – My very first semester of teaching, I had a few boys in one class that liked to joke around with me every day – you know, friendly banter. They had recently taken an interest in my small teddy bear with a UCO (my college) t-shirt that sat on my computer printer. One of them asked me how much I would pay for the bear and if I would pay 1 million dollars for it. I laughed and said I’d only paid $10 for it originally, so no. The following day I walked into that class to find a folded piece of paper in place of my teddy bear. When I opened it I literally laughed out loud. It was a legit ransom note, complete with cut out and pasted letters that said “If you ever want to see your bear again, give us $1,000,000.” The next day I had my own note waiting for them as I quietly stepped out of the room before class started. It read, “If you ever want to see an A again, give me my bear.” The bear was sitting on my printer again by the time the bell rang. The boy kept my note in his binder the whole year, and I still have their ransom note.
TRAGIC SPELLING MISTAKE – I had my students write a one-page story about anything including some words and phrases from The Odyssey, particularly from “The Cyclops” where Odysseus escapes under the belly of sheep. As I was grading these papers I came across one of my horrible spellers who wrote about a camping trip. Near the end of the story he was trying to say that he wrapped himself in “pectoral fleece” and went to bed. However, what he wrote and what I read had quite a different meaning: “I raped myself in pectoral fleece and went to bed.” I nearly fell out of my chair. I still tell all of my students as a lesson to watch their spelling.