Fun Friday – That Awkward Moment When Your Mother Hits on Your Teacher…

Disclaimer…No this is not from personal experience.  Lol!  I wrote this excerpt from the sequel to Shadow Eyes recently and it cracked me up!  So, naturally, I wanted to share.  Without giving too much away from the 1st book, Iris has a special bond with her teacher (nothing creepy) – he’s sort of like a mentor to her.  Having never met Iris’s teachers before, Iris’s mother insisted she go to parent/teacher conferences.  Her teacher, Mr. Delaney, is naturally and sometimes unintentionally charming, and her mother is single and about 15 years older.  Bad combo, right?  Here’s what happens when Iris and her mom first enter his classroom for the conference…

His eyes lit up the moment he saw us, and he moved to shake my mother’s hand.  Although I’m certain he was especially excited to see us over most of the other students or parents, I had a feeling he’d showed just as much enthusiasm to everyone else who’d walked through those doors that night.  How could anyone have a bad parent/teacher conference after a greeting like that?

“Hi, I’m Gregory Delaney.  Nice to meet you.”  He shook her hand and looked her square in the eyes as if she were the only important person on the planet at that moment.  He really was a stellar listener.  I needed to take notes.

“Shelly Kohl.  Pleasure.”  She dropped her hand somewhat reluctantly while her eyes remained fixed on the general vicinity of his flawless, tan face, sparkling, blue eyes, and perfect, blonde hair.

Uh-oh.

Gregory motioned for us to take a seat somewhere in the circle of four student chairs in the front of the classroom.  As my mom went ahead of me to claim a seat, I pulled on Gregory’s arm, turned so my back faced my mother, and made a slicing motion with my hand across my throat.  “Ixnay on the armchay,” I whispered sternly.  He wrinkled his brow in confusion, so I added with a little more urgency, “Throttle down, killer.”

When I pulled back, he still looked puzzled, but then he turned to face my mother who was beaming at him, utterly enthralled and perfectly postured in her seat with her legs crossed daintily.  “Oh.”  He cleared his throat and did his best to put on a more stern, serious expression that came off as natural as a gun in a nun’s hands.  He trudged to the chair across from my mother, and I took the seat next to her.

“So,” Gregory started, “You’re obviously Iris’s mother.”  He smiled as he shifted casually in his seat but then remembered himself and the smile vanished.  He picked up some papers and cleared his throat as he began to sift through them.  “It looks like Iris has a 93% right now, so she’s doing great.  She always turns in her assignments.  She participates.  She does great work in here.  You should be proud.”

He couldn’t help himself.  It was his nature.  By the end of his report he was smiling again.

And my mom responded like a homeless puppy near a hamburger.

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~ by Dusty Crabtree - Author of Shadow Eyes on November 23, 2012.

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